I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
