1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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