mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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