I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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