No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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