HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
