Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
