Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
