just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
