He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
