This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
