I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
