It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
