The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
