Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
my sisters under your porch take her home
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
