We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
