every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
