Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
