I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
