fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
