i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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