Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
