I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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