Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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