I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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