so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
