his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
