Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
