"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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