he wants to bone in the snuggie
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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