In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
