If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
