The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
