I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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