Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
