Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
