he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
