Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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