i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Enjoy the penises
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize