I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
