Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You're like the curious george of whores
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
