the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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