miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
