You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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