so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
