It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
