I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
