you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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