My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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