it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
